tibe2 terase desperately in need of kibun tenkan(change of air)...another 5 months ...susah nak cakap kejap ke lama...but one think for sure i need to use the time wisely...seriously...i wasted almost half a year doing nothin eventho b4 that byk gileeee list to do yg aku dok plan2 time bosan keje dulu....
i want to do somethin utk perbaiki diri....baik kata sbg seorg pekerja,anak,kawan,isteri atau ibu..but somehow bile nak start, buntu...mcm ade this huge wall in front of me...yg lps tuh terus rasa cam dr aku penat2 panjat baik aku lepak ,tgk tv,tdo.........huarghh...x nak selesa dgn hidup mcm ni jek smp bile2...bak kate cite desperate housewives...everyone need a reason to get up in the morning.......and maybe reason yg aku ade sekang tidak cukup........i need more than kejut dia,sediakan air panas,breakfast,babai die pegi keje.....
maybe i should join some classes..take more exams...tu yg dok hari2 survey ユーキャン(correspondence class)cari minat and 資格(qualifications) yg nak amek..tapi bile tgk yuran die..mak aih..........terberhenti agi di setakat itu niat ku ini...lps tu..tatau la kenape tibe2 satu mende yg aku rase teringin sgt nak buat is menjahit...rase nak beli mesin jahit...tp dulu mase kemahiran hidup kene blaja menjahit pon aku dah nak nanges kene ketuk ngan pn saerah...kang kalo terbiar mesin jahit tu x bersentuh nyesal pulak....ade sape2 tere jahit x?ajar la aku........
maybe aku patut balik msia...patutkah??
mampu ke nak balik dulu tanpa en.hb??
patut ke aku pujuk die benti keje and balik dgn aku??
die nmpk selesa dan suke dgn kerje die sekang..and he has his own goal...aku x nak die x dpt ape yg die nak semata2 sbb wagamama(selfishness) aku...
abes tu kalo balik pon..aku nak buat ape??somehow rase dr menganggur kat msia..baik menganggur kat jepun..boley?
jishin nai naaa....
haih..kejap nak kejap x nak..mane satu nih?maybe mak abah dtg nanti i should have some serious discussion with them and make up my mind...penat weh pk mende x abes2 ni...seksa jiwa raga............
ok..dah puas luah perasaan...maybe it just the hormones..aku pon dah tatau mane yg betul mana yg perasaan jek sekang nih..
selamat berweekend everyone..